Big Roger Babysits
by chatnoir06
Summary: speedrent challenge. What would happen if someone left a child in Roger's care, and the child picked up one of Roger's choice words?


Roger stumbled out into the kitchen earlier than he normally would. Mark was already dressed and preparing coffee; his bag and camera sitting on the table waiting to go.

"You're up early." Mark said without looking over his shoulder as Roger slumped into a chair at the table.

"The stupid kid upstairs woke me up."

"The new neighbors?" Mark inquired. New tenants had moved in the week before, and from what they could tell it was a single mom and a noisy child.

Roger grumbled a "Yes."

Mark smiled into his cup of coffee as he turned to look at Roger and leaned against the counter. "Have fun listening to that all day."

"Yeah, thanks." Roger mumbled. Mark took a swig of his coffee and then dumped the rest in the sink. He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder before going to fetch his bike.

Roger reached for the paper, yawned, and started reading. Upstairs, he could hear the sound of a child's footprints running around madly. He rolled his eyes upwards and watched the ceiling and could hear the muffled sound of a woman's voice, shrilly calling after the child. Roger sighed.

He continued reading. The sound of the running child slowly came to a stop.

"Finally."

But then, there was the sound of a pounding on the door.

Roger turned his head to the door and stared blankly. He sighed again and stood up, moving to the door cautiously.

When he opened it, he discovered the new neighbor standing there. She was holding the noisy child.

"Oh God, thank goodness someone's home…..Hiii…." She said, smiling broadly. She was young and pretty, but definitely looking stressed and harassed. "I'm sorry to be a burden…but I have a job interview and I don't have a babysitter and I was wondering if you could just watch my son for just a little bit, I'll pay you, I'll be back in like, two hours…."

She said it so fast Roger didn't even catch it all. "Huh?"

"Really? You can? Thank you so much!"

Before Roger could protest, the new neighbor had thrust the small boy into his arms, kissed the boy on each cheek, and had disappeared.

"Hey, wait…" Roger said, holding the kid out at arm's length and looking out the door. She had gone. "Aw, shit….I mean—" He looked at the kid. He sighed and moved back into the loft, set the boy on the ground, and closed the door. He considered calling Mimi downstairs—what was he going to do with his neighbor's kid for two hours? Then he remembered that Mimi was out all day visiting her sister. No use there.

Enormous blue eyes stared up at him. Roger looked down at him and frowned. "Hey." The boy didn't say anything. "What's your name?"

"Mommy!"

Roger groaned. "No, she's…she's at work."

"Mommy!"

"Hey. What's your name?"

"Rog-eh."

_What?_ "What's your name?"

"Rog-eh!"

"Your name's Roger?"

"Rog-eh!"

"Okay, okay! Hey, Roger. My name's Roger too."

Little Roger smiled and broke into a laugh. "You're funny."

Roger forced a smile. "Yeah. Guess you can call me Big Roger then." He looked around the loft. It wasn't exactly child-proof. He and Mark had, however, just bought a television. It didn't have cable, but it had a few basic channels. "Do you like watching TV?"

"Huh?"

"Television. Does your…mommy have a TV?"

Little Roger shook his head.

Roger reached down and picked up the boy and went to the couch. He set him down and reached for the remote and flicked on the television.

_The Price is Right_ came on. Nope. He flicked the channel. News. Definitely no. Flicked it again. _Sesame Street. _Kids still liked _Sesame Street, right? _

"How about this? You can watch Big Bird till your mom gets back." Roger said as he set the remote back on the table. Little Roger nodded enthusiastically and sank back in the overstuffed couch to watch. Big Bird was having a conversation with Oscar the Grouch about vegetables.

"Exciting." Roger murmured, and went to get up. But a tinny voice stopped him halfway to the table.

"No!"

He turned around. Little Roger was looking at him expectantly.

"You have to sit here, Big Rog-eh!" Little Roger slapped his hand on the cushion repeatedly. "Sit here."

Roger resisted the urge to groan, but went back to sit next to the kid anyway.

_Sesame Street _ended up being only half an hour long. Now what? Roger leaned forward to pick up the remote.

"I have to go pee."

Roger looked down at his younger counterpart. What if the kid wasn't potty trained yet? Great.

"Can you go by yourself?" he asked awkwardly. Little Roger nodded. Roger got up and took the kid's hand, lifting him out of the couch and guiding him towards the bathroom. He looked in quickly to make sure there was nothing dangerous the kid could get into, then placed Little Roger in there and shut the door. He stood there at the door awkwardly, unsure if he should stand there and wait or…go back to watching TV.

He decided to wait. He stood against the wall and crossed his arms across his chest. This was…weird. He almost wished Mark would come back and take care of the kid. Roger was a rock star. Roger didn't baby-sit.

He heard the toilet flush and then Little Roger's voice say through the door, "Aw done!" Roger opened the door and Little Roger bolted out, going straight for the couch again. "More Big Bird?"

Roger bit his lip as he went back to the couch. "Uhh…I think Big Bird is over for the day. Lemme see what else is on, kay?" He sat down next to Little Roger and picked up the remote.

More news. Soap operas. Baseball highlights. Roger stopped and watched.

"Do you like baseball?" he asked.

"No."

He chuckled. "Well, Big Roger likes baseball. Don't you like the Yankees? Look, see, they played Boston last night. Do you know where that is?"

"No."

"It's not too far from here. But look. We creamed them last night. Six to nothing, look at that! Pretty cool, huh? Oh…they're playing right now. Look, they're playing Detroit. Come on, Monteleone! Watch him, see, he's at bat. He's got two strikes. Do you know the song? _"Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, I don't care if I never get back! 'Cause it's root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame! 'Cause it's one! Two! Three strikes, you're out! At the old ball game!"_

Little Roger clapped after Roger had concluded the song. Roger smiled at the kid and then looked back at the baseball game.

"Okay, see, he didn't swing at that one. Good eye, Monteleone. Watch the pitcher, now." Little Roger was now watching in rapt attention.

But Monteleone swung and struck out. That was the end of the second inning.

"Aw, shit!" Roger shouted in outrage. "Jesus Christ, Monteleone, what are you swinging at? Shit."

Then he realized that Little Roger was watching him attentively. He chuckled.

"Just don't tell your mom I said that, 'kay? It's not nice."

Little Roger nodded and scooted closer to Roger. He smiled and leaned back. "Um…wanna watch the game with me? We can root for the Yankees together, 'kay?" Little Roger nodded.

In the end, the Yankees lost 5-10. At the bottom of the ninth inning, there was a knock on the door and it slid open revealing Little Roger's mom.

Little Roger wriggled himself out of the couch and ran to the door. He was promptly picked up by his mother.

"Hi baby. Were you nice to…oh my gosh, I just realized I don't even know your name! I must seem like such a mean person, leaving Little Roger on you like this. I'm so sorry, I really was in a pinch…and being new in the neighborhood, and all…"

Roger had approached the door and was smiling.

"His name's Rog-eh too!" Little Roger exclaimed happily.

Little Roger's mother smiled at her son and then at Roger. "Thank you so much, I feel so terrible. Here, I've got…a twenty, is that okay? I owe you."

"Nah. It's okay." Roger said with a grin.

"We watched basebaw!" Little Roger said. "Big Rog-eh tow-d me aw about basebaw."

"That was nice of him. Maybe you can come and watch baseball with him again. But we have to go now. Mommy has to go shopping."

Neither of the adults in the room were prepared for what came next.

"Aw, shit!"

His mother's eyes could not have gotten any larger, and Roger probably could have peed his pants in shock. Little Roger, however, looked truly disappointed that he had to leave.

"Where'd you learn that word?" Little Roger's mother asked.

Little Roger pointed at Big Roger.

"I'm so sorry…" Roger said. "I told you not to say that!" he whispered to Little Roger.

Little Roger put on a pout.

"Looks like Big Roger taught you a little bit more than just about baseball, huh?" his mother sighed. "No harm done." She turned to Roger. "Thanks again, really. You really helped me out."

Roger smiled. "It's okay. See ya later, Little Roger."

Little Roger waved and they headed out the door.

They were shortly followed by Mark. "Who was that? The new neighbor?"

"She needed a babysitter."

"Was she smoking crack or something?" Mark asked dubiously.

"Ha-ha. I didn't have much of a choice. He was all right. I just wish he didn't pick up some of my finer vocabulary."


End file.
